1. Please complete the following sentence:
The approximate number of square miles in the state of Indiana is
2. In social situations, you are more likely to:
Draw yourself up into a perfect
Strip to your underpants and sing
Rolling Stones covers
3. It is a Tuesday. You are in your car waiting at a red light in
a residential area. Suddenly, a rabid squirrel
pounces on your windshield and begins making obscene pelvic
motions. What do you do?
Scream and run the red light,
leaving a path of death and destruction.
Invite the squirrel in for a
Nothing. This happens every
Tuesday and the squirrel is an old friend.
4. What am I thinking right now?
I wish I had a breath mint right
Did I always have hair there and
am just now noticing it?
Just how do they cram all
Like, man, that's one big, juicy
5. This man
Will give a brief Bible message
Is a double dividend!
Is not available at all locations
6. Who wrote that urban classic, "The Blue Goo in the
Physicians Assistant Seuss
Akbar and Jeff
7. If Carl Sagan (deceased) and Milton Berle fought to the death,
who would win?
three way tie
8. What is your favorite brand of soup?
Uncle Smeggy's Gristle and Lymph
9. If you were caught with a closet full of John Tesh albums, you
Deny their existance.
10. Stare deeply into this swirling orb... you will remember
nothing of this current question.
11. Zum scribni bas nibbin frip jeehee la fumber?
Frip dee haba loobah
12. You are visiting your bearded Aunt Ruth. She serves you a
bowl of soup.
What flavor is it?
Cream of Manatee
Lobster Boy and Corn
13. Choose one:
Urinary Tract Infection
14. Once, when you were a small woodland creature you
fell off a high limb onto some
moved your 401k funds into a
high risk junk-bond money-market managed by tree frogs.
ticked off the squirrels at the
15. Four out of five dentists:
recommend Trident to their
patients who chew gum.
became highly irritated at the
mere mention of "dental accupuncture".
have an unhealthy fascination
with tree sap.
wish they were podiatrists.
You go, girl!
goes best with
the fifth dentist.
SPAM and carpet.
17. Your life is best described by the following cliche:
"A bird in the hand can
make an unsightly mess."
"An apple a day is a good
source of fiber and loosens the stool, which is pleasant."
"Gee, your hair smells
18. Select your favorite catch phrase from the list below:
Dogs LOVE trucks!
I've got a BROTHER?!?!?
Ancient Chinese secret, huh?
Mr. Whipple has the softest hands!
I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV.
Ok, now hold your breath, stand on one toe